you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
