If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
So. Much. Porn.
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