So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
