physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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