Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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