Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
