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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I don't wanna die...

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon

  (850): View more from Florida

  Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found

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• (916): View more from California

  My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol

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• (585): View more from New York

  I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars

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