I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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