That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
