im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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