Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
