ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
