What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
