He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
