Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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