Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
