New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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