spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
