And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
