I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
