No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
