at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
