im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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