Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
