Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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