This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
