My boss' voice literally gives me gas
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
