Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
