Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
