so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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