idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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