Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
