Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize