im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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