I'm going to jail i love you
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
