I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you traded sex for a burrito?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
