I met the friendliest cop last night
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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