At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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