Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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