whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
