Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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