Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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