question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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