He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
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