remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
