After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
