so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
