I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
