is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
