He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
