did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I wish you could order shots online.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
