Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize