i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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