The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
