Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
