what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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