And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
